On Sunday night, a new nickname was born. Admittedly, I’m not the easiest person to watch an Eagles game with. I yell the loudest, I curse the most, I grunt the hardest, I breathe the heaviest. You know what, though? I don’t apologize for it. Those that know me well know it means just that much more to me. And if you’ve never watched a game with me, guess what? It means more to me than it does to you, too. I didn’t sleep Sunday night. Not a damn wink. Most would ask me why I bother. Those are on my ‘pay no mind’ list. If you don’t know, get out of my kitchen.
I’m not the only sports fan that rows this boat. I have friends that root for the Eagles, Giants, Phillies, Yankees and Patriots that are always welcome at my round table. Those that care more than anyone in their kitchen. So, every person that called me this week to tell me there were a million positives to take out of a fourth quarter loss in a season with Superbowl expectations can, to borrow an expression from my father, hit the bricks.
Back to this new nickname. “Wolf” may have been better suited due to my huffing and puffing at both good and bad moments during Birds games but on Sunday night, the closest friends I have slapped me with “Animal.” At seemingly tough moments, I was sentenced to the back of the room. “GET IN THE CAGE, ANIMAL!” Off I went. And a funny thing happened. As I sat in my cage, staring at the screen like that scene in Superman II when a powerless Christopher Reeve is desperately trying to thwart off a creep attempting to pick up Lois Lane in the diner, the Eagles’ started playing better. It was uncanny. When I went back to my original seat, the Eagles turned it over. “BACK TO THE CAGE, ANIMAL!” Off I went. The Birds scorch down the field…TOUCHDOWN. I sat back on Stevie’s cadillac of couches. Then, Vick gets cold-cocked. “BACK TO THE CAGE, ANIMAL!” Off I went. Ten point lead! I’m back on the leather. Michael Turner breaks one for 43 yards. “BACK TO THE CAGE, ANIMAL!” Off I went, this time head held lower than a centipede’s testicles. After that, it was too late. I hadn’t stayed in my cage and because of me, the Eagles lost. I haven’t slept since. After 30 years of heart and soul, I’ve officially become the keystone to this team. At the next road game at the ghost of Leonard Tose’s house, I promise you, I will be in that cage for four quarters. The Animal knows where he belongs.
Here are your always anticipated 2011 Week Two NFL Notes & Musings…
It’s time for this week’s “KICK IN THE BALLS!” Ten point lead in the fourth quarter. Lose the game and the starting QB for at least a game or two. KICK! IN! THE! BALLS! I hate being an Eagles fan.
Tom Brady is on pace for 7,500 yards passing this season.
Sometime Saturday night while BYU was getting trounced at home, the ghost of Leonard Tose turned to me and asked, “why do I bet teams with all white guys?”
I’m tired of hearing about the Eagles’ linebackers. It’s the safeties that are the real concern on this team. They can’t cover and they can’t tackle. I see more coordination when my daughter and her friend Joey run around my backyard aimlessly without purpose.
It’s fall television season and as I write this…12 days to DEXTER, the single greatest TV show in American history.
Speaking of TV, I already miss CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM. This was, in my opinion, the best season and the storylines improved incredibly when Larry got divorced.
The next person that says the term “wide 9” to me is getting a punch in the face. Enough. Stop saying it to make yourself sound smart. I can watch Comcast Sportsnet, too.
How soon before (Kansas City head coach) Todd Haley loses his job? I’m betting he goes out in a blaze of glory. They’ve been outscored 89-10 in 2 weeks, their 2 best players (Jamaal Charles and Eric Berry) have been lost for the season to ACL tears and there are rumors of constant bickering between he and the players. I think he’s gone before the end of November and would love to see a world class meltdown on the sideline…throwing his play sheet, kicking helmets, ripping off his headset…MUST SEE TV.
The 35 points Buffalo scored on Oakland in the second half was the most given up by a Raider team in a half in franchise history.
SENSATIONAL is the only term I can continue to use to describe Cam Newton. He’s putting up god-like numbers in his young career. A week after his rookie debut 422 yard performance, he slung it for 432 yards against a tough Green Bay defense. He did make his mistakes, tossing 3 interceptions but this kid looks like he’ll be fast tracked to the Pro Bowl.
Donald Driver is now the Packers’ all time leader in receiving yardage with 9,666.
Lions kicker Jason Hanson has now played more games with one team than any other in NFL history with 297.
I’m enamored with those Lions de Detroit. Can this team make a deep run in the post-season? Everyone say it with me, “IF STAFFORD CAN STAY HEALTHY.” I hear that almost as much as I hear “wide 9.”
After beating Chicago on Sunday, New Orleans head coach Sean Payton has now beaten every NFC team. Payton also grew up in Chicago and was the starting QB for the Bears during the strike season in the 80s. NFL Films has some great footage of then Bears head coach Mike Ditka chewing him out on the sideline. Payton recently thanked Ditka personally for chasing him off the field as a player and on to the sideline as a coach. Said Payton to Ditka, “thanks for pushing me towards what I was supposed to do.” I guess it’s true…those who can’t do, teach.
The Jets scored an offensive touchdown in the first quarter for the first time in 16 games. Why do I detest Mark Sanchez? Is it because of his handsomeness or that I find him to be a punk?
Seattle didn’t cross mid-field until the fourth quarter against Pittsburgh.
The Atlanta Falcons have forced a turnover in 21 straight games, the current longest streak in the NFL.
Somewhere, Rex Grossman is saying to himself, “I knew we would be good! I knew it!” I can’t wait till the Eagles throttle the Redskins by 40.
Cincinnati lost in Denver for the 9th straight time. The last time they won there was 1975. I was one, lived in the Olney section of Philadelphia. My dad drove a Chevy Caprice, the Flyers were Stanley Cup champions and the sounds of Bobby Rydell rang out from the neighborhood bar juke boxes, but enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?
WITHOUT QUESTION, the Eagles will play well and beat the New York Giants with Mike Kafka under center.
Why does my favorite Buick salesman, (Miami head coach) Tony Sparano, insist on wearing sunglasses all the time? Even inside at press conferences? We get it, Tony. You live in Miami.
LOVE the Eagles’ “HEART” commercial airing locally. It’s spot on.
Miami’s Jason Taylor is the current active NFL sack leader with 133.5.
New England’s Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez are the tight end equivalent of Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee. The Patriots offense is, seemingly, unstoppable with those two playing at this level.
Staying with the Patriots, can someone please tell Tedy Bruschi to shut up? He sounded ridiculous when ripping Chad Johnson for saying he was in awe of Tom Brady. I couldn’t believe how genuinely angry he was. Listen, Tedy, you’re not on the team anymore. You’re not an ambassador for the franchise. It’s over. Move on.
Part One of NFL Network’s “A Football Life, Bill Belichick” was incredible. Two things stood out: First, the coaching room after a loss when Billy-boy was so candid about how his offense could be shut down…imagine a random caller to WEEI in Boston, “awl yaw gautta do is double Randy and take away Welker underneath and we’re wicked screwed.” In so many words, Bill said exactly that. Secondly, the exchange between he and Baltimore WR Derrick Mason. It’s r-rated, but I’m a proud Belichick fan forever because of this.
Jeremy Maclin accomplished career highs in receptions with 13 and yardage with 171. He also caught 2 touchdowns but it’ll be the drop that we all remember.
And finally, let’s take a look at some of these staggering scoring numbers through week two:
1,502 total points, league wide is the most points ever scored in NFL History through week two and there’s a reason for that…defenses can’t catch up thanks to, virtually, no off-season workouts. The offense has a clear edge and it’s probably going to take until week 4 or 5 before the field levels.
Detroit has outscored opponents 75-23.
New England is averaging over 36 points a game.
Philadelphia is averaging 31 points a game.
Miami has been outscored 61-23.
Seattle has been outscored 57-17.
The Manningless Colts have scored 26 points.
And as stated earlier, Kansas City has been outscored 89-10.