One of my favorite people in this world is my neighbor, Sherm. I’ve learned a lot from him over the five years I’ve lived across the street. Not because he has every conceivable tool a homeowner could use, but because he has an enviable outlook on life. The man is always happy. He’s 71 and retired. His wife is a sweetheart and he spends his days knocking around the house, keeping it in it’s usual pristine state. He is eternally smiling. He doesn’t sweat the small stuff and, more than most people I know, has his priorities in line. I guess 70+ years of experience will do that.
I’m half Sherm’s age and can proudly say I’m on my way to such eternal happiness. Kids, a mortgage and a 60 hour work week will humble a man. I’ve slowed down a lot over the last few years and am doing my best to eliminate stress from my life. The only thing that matters is that I live long enough to see my grandchildren. No way I would’ve done so had I continued the stress filled life of my past.
Now, let me reset the table. It’s the fourth quarter on Sunday. Along with my guys, I’m at the Ghost of Leonard Tose’s house. The Eagles are mounting a comeback after three quarters of the most atrocious defense I have seen by a Philadelphia team. My head is in my hands, I’m sweating and losing weeks off my life. I turn to Mark and ask, “why do I do this to myself?” I need to be more like Sherm and just enjoy these games. It’s only the Eagles that do this to me. I was over the Phillies loss before I went to bed Friday night. Truth be told, I’m a bigger hockey fan than a baseball fan but I would never begrudge someone who was still hurting. I just can’t get past the Eagles. It’s the only stressor I have in my life and it’s honestly embarrassing. Everything else is my life is a reason to stress. Not 53 strangers who all receive weekly paychecks that look my W-2. But a tiger rarely changes his stripes and the Eagles are my thing. So, I’ll hang on to one stressor because, Goddamnit, all else is right in my life.
Let’s kick things off with this week’s KICK IN THE BALLS as we delve in to your 2011 Week Five NFL Notes & Musings…
Someone needs to shoot (Eagles’ safety) Jarrod Page with a harpoon because that fat whale can’t run, tackle or cover. He’s completely worthless. I can’t imagine a single reason why Jaiqwan Jarrett can’t even dress!! So, he’s a rookie. So, he struggled learning the offense in the pre-season. So what? He couldn’t possibly do worse than that kick in the balls. Congrats, Jarrod Page you are this week’s KICK! IN! THE! BALLS!
Ben Roethlisberger tied a Pittsburgh franchise record with 5 touchdown passes in one game, a mark he already shared with Mark Malone and Terry Bradshaw.
I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t overly rooting for Oakland on Sunday, due to Al Davis’ passing. More on that later.
Matt Schaub has thrown a touchdown pass in 13 consecutive games, a franchise record.
Dwayne Bowe’s touchdown catch was one of the ten best I have ever seen.
Apparently, this is Spanish heritage month in the NFL. I only know this because a Cuban born ref named Alberto Riveron called a penalty in Spanish during the Cincinnati-Jacksonville game. In a related story, I love tacos!!
I have a theory that Seattle wideout Doug Baldwin is a missing Baldwin brother. I have, however, no proof.
The Minnesota Vikings have outscored their opponents this season 111-106 and are also +3 in the turnover margin, yet they’re 1-4. More proof that statistics in football are almost meaningless. Want more proof? The Eagles are the NFL’s top rushing team.
Donovan McNabb’s rushing TD was the 33rd of his career, yet his first in 22 games.
Congratulations to the Chicago Bears who may have a worse offensive line than the Eagles.
Without question, the Detroit Lions are the second best team in the NFC.
The Bills have 12 interceptions this season through week five. They had 11 all of last season.
Michael Pick has now thrown 7 interceptions through week five.
My new favorite expression to describe a team that got trounced is “boat raced.” The Tampa Bay Bucs got boat raced on Sunday. The 48-3 drubbing at the hands of San Francisco was Tampa’s worst loss in franchise history.
Not much happening on “Dexter” yet and I’m not sure I’m buying Colin Hanks in this role. I just can’t look at him and not think of his father.
Josh Freeman has already thrown 6 interceptions which matches his season total from last year.
The 49ers are 4-1 for the first time in 9 years. The Lions are 5-0 for the first time since 1956.
Andy Reid has won a lot of games and turned many seasons around during his tenure here in Philly. For that reason, I feel he deserves an opportunity to right the ship. That being said, I don’t believe they have enough talent on defense to do so and expect the Eagles to move on at the end of the year. I also don’t have any interest in Jon Gruden or Jeff Fischer. I’m not sure who yet, but I’d like a young defensive minded coordinator. Have my eyes on a few but not ready to name the guy I want yet.
Let me give you a little bit of information about me…I got the moves like Jagger.
New England running back Benjarvis Green-Ellis rushed for a career high 136 yards on Sunday against the Jets.
Calvin Johnson has 9 TDs in his first five games, an NFL record. Jahvid Best’s 88 yard touchdown run was the second longest in Lions’ franchise history. The longest? Well, it wasn’t set by Barry Sanders. It was set by some guy named Bob Hoernschmeyer in 1950 who scampered for 96 yards and a score.
And finally, a few words about Al Davis. First, a return text from Jeff Lite when I let him know early Saturday morning of Al’s passing…”Finally.” I guess Jeff was still reeling from the Phillies loss.
Al Davis would have to make my Mt. Rushmore of influential people in NFL history. This man started out his career as an assistant coach and scout. He also spent time as head coach, general manager, part owner and sole owner in this league. Oh, by the way, he was also commissioner of the AFL prior to it’s merger with the NFL. Truly amazing…he had every job anyone could possibly desire in the league.
The best story I heard over the weekend was that Al and Frank Sinatra funded Sugar Ray Robinson’s life when Robinson suffered dementia long after his boxing days were over. Al was a pretty generous guy. Here’s to you, Al!