One of my favorite people in this world is my neighbor, Sherm. I’ve learned a lot from him over the five years I’ve lived across the street. Not because he has every conceivable tool a homeowner could use, but because he has an enviable outlook on life. The man is always happy. He’s 71 and retired. His wife is a sweetheart and he spends his days knocking around the house, keeping it in it’s usual pristine state. He is eternally smiling. He doesn’t sweat the small stuff and, more than most people I know, has his priorities in line. I guess 70+ years of experience will do that.

I’m half Sherm’s age and can proudly say I’m on my way to such eternal happiness. Kids, a mortgage and a 60 hour work week will humble a man. I’ve slowed down a lot over the last few years and am doing my best to eliminate stress from my life. The only thing that matters is that I live long enough to see my grandchildren. No way I would’ve done so had I continued the stress filled life of my past.

Now, let me reset the table. It’s the fourth quarter on Sunday. Along with my guys, I’m at the Ghost of Leonard Tose’s house. The Eagles are mounting a comeback after three quarters of the most atrocious defense I have seen by a Philadelphia team. My head is in my hands, I’m sweating and losing weeks off my life. I turn to Mark and ask, “why do I do this to myself?” I need to be more like Sherm and just enjoy these games. It’s only the Eagles that do this to me. I was over the Phillies loss before I went to bed Friday night. Truth be told, I’m a bigger hockey fan than a baseball fan but I would never begrudge someone who was still hurting. I just can’t get past the Eagles. It’s the only stressor I have in my life and it’s honestly embarrassing. Everything else is my life is a reason to stress. Not 53 strangers who all receive weekly paychecks that look my W-2. But a tiger rarely changes his stripes and the Eagles are my thing. So, I’ll hang on to one stressor because, Goddamnit, all else is right in my life.

Let’s kick things off with this week’s KICK IN THE BALLS as we delve in to your 2011 Week Five NFL Notes & Musings…

Someone needs to shoot (Eagles’ safety) Jarrod Page with a harpoon because that fat whale can’t run, tackle or cover. He’s completely worthless. I can’t imagine a single reason why Jaiqwan Jarrett can’t even dress!! So, he’s a rookie. So, he struggled learning the offense in the pre-season. So what? He couldn’t possibly do worse than that kick in the balls. Congrats, Jarrod Page you are this week’s KICK! IN! THE! BALLS!

Ben Roethlisberger tied a Pittsburgh franchise record with 5 touchdown passes in one game, a mark he already shared with Mark Malone and Terry Bradshaw.

Only the good die young

I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t overly rooting for Oakland on Sunday, due to Al Davis’ passing. More on that later.

Matt Schaub has thrown a touchdown pass in 13 consecutive games, a franchise record.

Dwayne Bowe’s touchdown catch was one of the ten best I have ever seen.

Apparently, this is Spanish heritage month in the NFL. I only know this because a Cuban born ref named Alberto Riveron called a penalty in Spanish during the Cincinnati-Jacksonville game. In a related story, I love tacos!!

I have a theory that Seattle wideout Doug Baldwin is a missing Baldwin brother. I have, however, no proof.

The Minnesota Vikings have outscored their opponents this season 111-106 and are also +3 in the turnover margin, yet they’re 1-4. More proof that statistics in football are almost meaningless. Want more proof? The Eagles are the NFL’s top rushing team.

Donovan McNabb’s rushing TD was the 33rd of his career, yet his first in 22 games.

Congratulations to the Chicago Bears who may have a worse offensive line than the Eagles.

Without question, the Detroit Lions are the second best team in the NFC.

The Bills have 12 interceptions this season through week five. They had 11 all of last season.

Michael Pick: 7 INTs thru 5 weeks

Michael Pick has now thrown 7 interceptions through week five.

My new favorite expression to describe a team that got trounced is “boat raced.” The Tampa Bay Bucs got boat raced on Sunday. The 48-3 drubbing at the hands of San Francisco was Tampa’s worst loss in franchise history.

Not much happening on “Dexter” yet and I’m not sure I’m buying Colin Hanks in this role. I just can’t look at him and not think of his father.

Josh Freeman has already thrown 6 interceptions which matches his season total from last year.

The 49ers are 4-1 for the first time in 9 years. The Lions are 5-0 for the first time since 1956.

Andy Reid has won a lot of games and turned many seasons around during his tenure here in Philly. For that reason, I feel he deserves an opportunity to right the ship. That being said, I don’t believe they have enough talent on defense to do so and expect the Eagles to move on at the end of the year. I also don’t have any interest in Jon Gruden or Jeff Fischer. I’m not sure who yet, but I’d like a young defensive minded coordinator. Have my eyes on a few but not ready to name the guy I want yet.

How do the Eagles save their season? Simple. They just gotta do a better job.

Let me give you a little bit of information about me…I got the moves like Jagger.

New England running back Benjarvis Green-Ellis rushed for a career high 136 yards on Sunday against the Jets.

Calvin Johnson has 9 TDs in his first five games, an NFL record. Jahvid Best’s 88 yard touchdown run was the second longest in Lions’ franchise history. The longest? Well, it wasn’t set by Barry Sanders. It was set by some guy named Bob Hoernschmeyer in 1950 who scampered for 96 yards and a score.

And finally, a few words about Al Davis. First, a return text from Jeff Lite when I let him know early Saturday morning of Al’s passing…”Finally.” I guess Jeff was still reeling from the Phillies loss.

Al Davis would have to make my Mt. Rushmore of influential people in NFL history. This man started out his career as an assistant coach and scout. He also spent time as head coach, general manager, part owner and sole owner in this league. Oh, by the way, he was also commissioner of the AFL prior to it’s merger with the NFL. Truly amazing…he had every job anyone could possibly desire in the league.

The best story I heard over the weekend was that Al and Frank Sinatra funded Sugar Ray Robinson’s life when Robinson suffered dementia long after his boxing days were over. Al was a pretty generous guy. Here’s to you, Al!

 

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Darren DeGaetano
A lifelong buddy of Voodoo Brown's, Darren was born in Philadelphia and resides with his family in South Jersey. His resume includes ten years producing sports radio in Philadelphia and five years as a writer, director and producer for NFL Films. His weekly NFL NOTES & MUSINGS column provides his thoughts, anecdotes and eye opening statistics that happened over the previous weekend. Additionally, every Friday, Darren offers his "What 2 Watch 4" column to set you up for the coming weekend football action. Darren's best known annual piece features his Darrentees, a collection of NFL bold and not so bold predictions for the season at hand. Finally, Darren is a full time NFL Insider for Philadelphia's Sportsradio 94.1 WIP and co-hosts the Thursday night / Friday morning overnight show with Big Daddy Graham and can be heard on the official Philadelphia Eagles post-game show. He also likes red wine. Lots and lots of red wine.

18 COMMENTS

  1. Only week five and I need a break.Does Sherm drink?And if so what,because I will start drinking the same and hope it gets me to 71.

  2. I would like to see a defensive coach take over as head coach. First thing is to hire a proven defensive coordinator. Next trade Samuel and go get the best mlb that is available. Looking for leadership and with kick ass mentatility! This defense is soft and it starts up front. Steven Tullock would have been perfect playing in scheme. Jamar Chaney is not a middle linebacker. Jarret should get some playing time. We need a safety that can stop the run. With some insurance to the offensive line, and a new head coach, the lombardi trophy is at reach.

    • Tulloch would’ve been decent. Detroit only inked him to a one year, 3.25 million dollar deal. I thought for sure they would go after Nick Barnett when Green Bay released him. You saw on Sunday that Barnett can still play at a high level, even though the ball was thrown right at him.

  3. I am happy for the Lions, they look like one hell of a football team. Would love to see them win the division, but the Packers are the beast of the NFC.

  4. I guess I should tell you… Sherm is happy bc hecan see into your bathroom window and at 71 he likes anything he sees.

  5. Stop perpetuating that philly talk radio rumor..it has as much chance of happening as the Phillies losing in the playo…..o shit bad analogy

    • Ha, Adam Schefter was the first to report it. Im actually not that interested in Dawkins. He cant play anymore. I like Williams a little bit, though.

  6. D
    How much credence do you put it a team needing a leader.These guys are supposed to be elite pro athletes.At that level does any one guy have that much influence on team mates?

    • Not much. I agree these guys make enough money to say they shouldnt need a teammate holding their hand. If a team has a lot of young guys on one side of the ball, it certainly helps to have a veteran teammate give them tips but I think the term ‘leader’ is overrated. In any way of life, it seems like no one is ever accountable anymore.

      Very few of the guys on the Eagles barely played with Dawkins, anyway.

      • I disagree Goomba, I think a leader is huge on a defense. I dont think Dawkins would matter either, just seems like a desperate way to win fans back. This year they are what they are, but next season this team needs to get a mlb that can play at a high level and commands respect from his coaches and teammates. With the talent on the defensive line and corners, a good middle linebacker would really help this defense. Its time the front office put stock in this position.

        • You know, bro, I can’t argue with someone who thinks a true leader on defense is necessary. There’s too much pro to argue on that subject.

          I just look at these guys who’s weekly paychecks look like my W-2 and wonder why they need extra motivation?

          The modern athlete can be frustrating.

  7. A quick detour to college.What’s up with Michigan?Denard Robinson seems to adapted to the new coach and scheme quickly.

    • You’re in luck, G…I’ve got 3 for you:

      First and foremost, try Victory’s ‘Old Horizontal.’ I’ve had a bottle marinating in my liquor cabinet for almost 8 years now. It should be quite the kick when I pop the cork. (Yes, it comes corked.)

      Two other suggestions: Troegs’ ‘Flying Mouflan’ and Anchor Steam’s ‘Old Foghorn.”

      Enjoy.

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