Sometimes these games feel like they take years off your life. The fact this was a late afternoon game had me so jacked up, sleeping was going to be questionable move. Could you imagine if this were a Sunday night game? Forget it, I’d be awake until Wednesday watching Charlie Moore Outdoors. As much as I want to strip the manhood from every team we face, I want them battle tested for when the games get tighter. You need games like this, on the road, where difficult situations are thrown in front of you constantly. Your best receiver goes down? No worries, Bill cloned another one in Amendola. The linebackers are having a tough time in coverage on the swing pass and drag routes? Oh, just bring Patrick Chung up closer to the line whom you basically stole back from the Eagles to keep them honest. The whole plan and modus operandi of this team is genius. They take what you do best away from you, and then make you rethink what you think you are good at. Essentially a combination of all of this led to putting Coughlin in a coffin (credit to Lauren Cataldo). He is dead, there is no coming back from this. Thoughts and prayers out to the Coughlin family.
1) New England Patriots – Thanks for my ninth free iced-coffee of the year Dunkin Donuts.
2) Carolina Panthers – If Cam Newton and the Panthers are the best the NFC has to offer, clear February 9th, 2016 on your calendar for the parade.
3) Arizona Cardinals – Arizona is for real. They finally have a halfway decent quarterback and the best secondary in football.
4) Cincinnati Bengals – Did Andy Dalton go back to being as soft as Andy from Toy Story?
5) Minnesota Vikings – AP finally played an AP like game. Sadly, the rest of my fantasy team did nothing.
6) Denver Broncos – Manning has a bum foot and the Broncos could be in very big trouble.
7) Green Bay Packers – Ginger Rodgers better get his offense on track, and quickly.
8) Atlanta Falcons – Coming off a bye week.
9) Seattle Seahawks – The Legion of Boom is suddenly playing like the American Legion.
10) Pittsburgh Steelers – Pittsburgh still scares me more than any other team in football. BOLD PREDICTION: If it isn’t the Patriots, Big Ben wins his third ring this season.
11) Buffalo Bills – Two in a row for Sexy Rexy. He has a date with a sex God in TB12 on Monday Night Football.
12) Miami Dolphins – The Dolphins finally won a tough game on the road north of our nation’s capital. Could Miami make a late season run?
13) New Jersey Giants – Poor clock management cost the Giants their fourth straight victory over the Patriots.
14) New Jersey Jets – Dougie Fresh needs to find a capable quarterback sometime in the near future.
15) Philadelphia Eagles – SANCHISE!!! Good luck Eagles fans.
16) Oakland Raiders – Oakland lost a very Oakland like game on Sunday. These are the games they need to win to get over the hump.
17) Indianapolis Colts– Coming off a bye week.
18) St. Louis Rams – The Case Keenum era is about to begin in St. Louis.
19) Houston Texans – JJ Watt is such a hardo. I can’t stand anything about him and he has ZERO in common with Tom Brady. That argument starts and ends right there.
20) Kansas City Chiefs – What a huge win for the Chiefs. I say it time and time again, I am damn proud of Eric Berry and the way he has responded.
21) New Orleans Saints – Rob Ryan is either on the unemployment line or in the buffet line.
22) Chicago Bears – Don’t look now, but Chicago is making a little run in the NFC playoff picture.
23) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Tampa and the play of the Crab King is making some waves in the NFC.
24) San Diego Chargers– Coming off a bye week.
25) Washington Redskins – You like that?!?!?
26) Jacksonville Jaguars – You lose to the Jets, but redeem yourselves by ripping out a Harbaugh heart to end the game. I love you Jacksonville.
27) Detroit Lions – Martha Ford may be the next head coach of the Lions.
28) Dallas Cowboys – No glory hole for Jerry this year. Sorry Dallas.
29) San Francisco 49ers – Coming off a bye week.
30) Tennessee Titans – The Titans had the Panthers on the ropes and they reverted back to being the Titans.
31) Baltimore Ravens – Deception continues to kill the Ravens and I love every second of it.
32) Cleveland Browns – Someone has to be the worst team in the land.