Let me start by saying that I really do understand that Twitter is a great platform for people & businesses to share their thoughts, promotions, etc… and it allows users that give a shit about said people & businesses to keep up on their stream of consciousness and/or relevent benefits like new company info, sales, deals, and the like.

I have been observing all forms of Twitter abuse for well over a year now. It has been an annoying thorn in my side: everything from the introduction of tweeting to be a legitimate & accepted source of real news to Twitter beefs like the one Lesean McCoy & Steve Smith are going thru in Eagles training camp. This abuse had initially fed my refusal to actively use Twitter at first since I didn’t want to join into this world of abbreviated thoughts and bastardized grammar. YES I text “u” instead of “you” frequently; YES I am not proud to admit it but I have made emoticons like the winky-face, sad-face, and smiley-face. I never LOL… and I’ll burst into flames if I ever ROFL… but that is one-on-one texting. I feel there is a separate level of “messaging etiquette” when broadcasting your thoughts to the entire world to see. So all in all, I love Twitter – when used properly.

What really broke my balls, really just erupted this tweet-filled blimp of Twitter frustration into a blazing fireball, were Jim Irsay’s tweets over the weekend. For those that don’t know, Jim Irsay is the Owner & CEO of the Indianapolis Colts, boasting a very successful resume that includes a number of playoff appearances as well as a Superbowl victory in 2006. Regardless of his past, his personality, whatever you might say about him (I don’t know the guy), I DO know that he is a 52 year-old owner of one of the most prestigious NFL franchises in recent history. With that distinction comes just a LITTLE professional decorum. Just a little. That’s not asking too much.

So when I see him tweeting:
“We r evaluating the QB sitch,#18 healing but we got 2 b prepared 4 early season possibility without him,defense has 2 pick it up,big time!” … (deep breath) … I really need to step away for a second… OK. Besides broadcasting to the nation that the 4-time MVP might not be ready for the start of the season and the shortening of at least 25% of the words into single letters or numbers, the use of “sitch” is just nails on a chalkboard. Sacrifice some of the words in the tweet and spell out “situation”.

Sifting through the rest of his shit-tweets talking about such nonsense as underwear malfunctions and seemingly drug-induced riddles about what he may or may not be up to… the next annoying Tweet:
“Not taking Pryor…what VET QB would u vote 4 to sign that’s out there? If sum1 has 2 hold the fort early season, who u going with?” … The whole “engaging the fan base” thing I’m all for. But not in the voice of a 14-year old high school chick. And not singling out players that you’re not selecting. You’re a grown man. Owner of an NFL franchise. Please tell me that you have the ability to use your 140 characters in a more concise & intelligent way. It’s embarrassing, almost like the old guy at the club that is trying to blend in with the younger people by wearing a shiny, sparkling button down because he thinks it’s what he should be wearing, and not realizing that nobody else is wearing it, except for the other creepy old guy molesting the strippers in bottle service.

The Twitterization of America. This just might be step 1 in the completion of the Idiocracy prophecy.


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Voodoo Brown
Voodoo Brown started playing fantasy football way back in 1994 — when you had to manually add up scores with the Monday edition of USA Today (yes, that’s how it was done). Since that time, he has amassed 16 championships and 7 runner-ups, with most of his success coming after 2003 (avg. participation of 2-3 leagues per year). These accomplishments are evidence that Voodoo steadily adjusts to the ebbs & flows of the ever-changing fantasy landscape. It’s a different game now than it was in 1994 — hell, even 2004. Rarely finishing as a doormat, Voodoo’s teams are always in the mix. If you want any roster or lineup feedback, you can message him at vb@voodoobrown.com, or hit him up on Facebook or Twitter (@VoodooBrown)


  1. I’ve been talking about Jim Irsay for two days now. I couldn’t agree more with how bad this looks for him.

    I still can’t believe it wasn’t one of Irsay’s kids hacking in to his account. My 2 year old daughter writes in better English.

    More importantly, the underlying issue is the misuse of social media worldwide as an official source of information.