Isn’t it crazy what a difference six days can make? This time last week Patriot Nation was in panic mode, and to be honest I was riding that wave a bit. Now, I wasn’t riding the wave of Brady and Belichick being done and shipped out of town, I was more down on them due to on-field performance and completely lackluster efforts in all three phases of the game. We saw New England respond from adversity the same way we have over the last decade in a half. I personally had called them out on their mental toughness and made comparisons to the female regime of Title Boxing Club in Danvers, MA. They answered the bell and answered it in a big way. Not to say the Title Boxing Club girls couldn’t represent, but these guys brought their A-game and deserve all the credit in the world.
Foxboro Stadium chanted Brady’s name as if he just beheaded another gladiator in the coliseum. He surpassed 50,000 yards passing, while 50,000 women tossed their undergarments, or lack thereof, at Tom Terrific from the stands at Gillette. This had the makings of an American Horror Story like season (which returns this week by the way on FX) and turned it into wire to wire performance of the Patriot team everyone remembers them as being. One of the biggest takeaways from the big win in prime-time was the solidarity and morale shown between players and coaches. Brady and the coaching staff were being portrayed as Ray and Abby Donovan all week long by the media. Now was Brady off sleeping around like Ray does with the girl from Hocus Pocus, probably not, as he doesn’t strike me as the type to go behinds Giselle’s back with some floozy from the Foxy Lady. We can’t say the same about Bill though, as he is a well-documented adultery fan. Don’t believe me? Ask his girlfriend from channel five he met while married to his ex-wife. But enough about Bill, we’re onto Buffalo.
* THESE RANKINGS ARE BASED NOT JUST ON RECORD, BUT OVERALL PERFORMANCE AND STRENGTH OF TEAM.
1) Seattle Seahawks (3-1) – Seattle is winning games in every way a team can win. To see Russell Wilson win a game with his legs alone sent a message to the rest of the NFC.
2) Denver Broncos (3-1) – The Sherriff turned in one of his best performances of the season in Mile High. However, this Broncos team hung let Arizona keep it close until a practice squad quarterback came in and handed the game to Denver.
3) San Diego Chargers (4-1) – San Diego is dismantling teams. How many running backs can they afford to lose though?
4) Philadelphia Eagles (4-1) – The Eagles need to start putting teams away. They keep playing that soft Mickey Mouse defense in the second half.
5) Dallas Cowboys (4-1) – Dallas has been the most impressive team in the league to me thus far. They are doing it with smoke and mirrors on defense, and Tony Romo is playing at an elite level. Eat your heart out Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson.
6) San Francisco 49ers (3-2) – Harbaugh won’t be coaching the Niners in 2015 according to tough guy Jay Glazier. If he wins a Super Bowl he will be. San Francisco usually hits their stride right about now. Also, Colin’s part in his head looks like a strain of Ebola virus.
7) Cincinnati Bengals (3-1) – The Red Rifle and Marvin Lewis do what they’ve done in every big game I can remember them playing in. Took the vomit bag from the seat in front of them and filled it up.
8) Green Bay Packers (3-2) – The king of denim looked solid against the Vikings, then again so does everyone.
9) Arizona Cardinals (3-1) – Drew Stanton took a beating and the Cardinals seemed to have wanted the hell out of Denver after he went out.
10) Indianapolis Colts (3-2) – Watching Andrew Luck’s press conferences are worth it just to see how out of control the neck beard is.
11) Detroit Lions (3-2) – Jim Caldwell needs to sit Calvin Johnson before his ankle turns into pick-up sticks and is gone for a really long time.
12) Carolina Panthers (3-2) – Cam Newton had a sunflower pin on his double breasted jacked. That is all I have to say about Carolina.
13) New England Patriots (3-2) – Was Sunday night’s game a case of how good the Patriots are or how much the Bengals are the Bengals?
14) Baltimore Ravens (3-2) – Baltimore receivers remind me of freshmen attending their first college party. They have some upperclassman lined up, ready to close, and drop the ball, literally.
15) Pittsburgh Steelers (3-2) – Pittsburgh’s defense responded to the media criticism by not allowing a touchdown on Sunday. The problem is that it was against the Jaguars.
16) Buffalo Bills (3-2) – I think carrying Jim Schwartz off the field like he just won a Super Bowl was a bit much. I hope my Patriots drop fifty on them on Sunday.
17) Kansas City Chiefs (2-3) – Twelve men on the field penalties are no way to win on the road.
18) Chicago Bears (2-3) – Find me another athlete, or human for that matter, whom looks more like Common than Matt Forte
19) New Jersey Giants (3-2) – Don’t look now, but the Giants are on a winning streak.
20) Houston Texans (3-2) – Houston played their asses off on the Big D on Sunday. Also, it was an impressive showing from the Texans fan base taking over Jerry’s house.
21) Miami Dolphins (2-2) – The Fish host The Denim King on Sunday in Miami.
22) New Orleans Saints (2-3) – New Orleans is brutal on defense and Jimmy Graham has a week to heal that shoulder of his.
23) Atlanta Falcons (2-3) – Atlanta is the new Sasha Gray of the NFL. Gaping Holes on defense.
24) Cleveland Browns (2-2) – I love watching ESPN bleep out the F-Bombs Mike Petine was throwing around after that comeback win on Sunday.
25) Tennessee Titans (1-4) – Things went from bad to worse in Tennessee this weekend. You let Brian Hoyer come back from over three touchdowns behind on the road.
26) Minnesota Vikings (2-3) – Christian Ponder looked like Christian Slater in Lambeau.
27) New Jersey Jets (1-4) – What movie did Geno Smith go see that he missed the team meeting on Saturday night? My money is on Gone Girl.
28) St Louis Rams (1-3) – It was too little too late for the Rams in Philadelphia. The road doesn’t get any easier with San Francisco coming to town on Monday Night Football.
29) Washington Redskins (1-4) – Washington has Brandon Merriweather in the secondary. That says enough about which direction the Redskins are heading.
30) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-4) – Will Lovie Smith ever learn to manage the clock late in games?
31) Oakland Raiders (0-4) – Oakland may be hiring the original “Red Face” as their new coach. Maybe they will finally address the quarterback position?
32) Jacksonville Jaguars (0-5) – I guess you can call Sunday a moral victory for the Shaguars. Those just don’t cut it in the NFL though.
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